Saturday, February 21, 2009

The Butt Dancing Bride - Warning This Post Is R Rated

The party was in full swing when we got to Bernie's, it was DJ night. They music was kind of rap, and the floor was full of young women rubbing their butts together. The girl on stage was very entertaining, wearing cowboy boots and Daisy Duke's, she was exercising her very large and bouncy butt muscles. She had amazing control of those muscles. We were thinking ex stripper. Her girlfriend had bigger muscles but didn't move them as well.

This is just a tiny part of the show. Paul just walks up to kids and starts talking. The group of four large and well toned young men to our right had just gotten in town and were going to work on the oil rigs in the gulf, until 2012. They on on and off the rigs, don't know the schedules. They were buff and handsome and drinking jag. Beyond them were some heavily muscled young black guys, on the island for a business function. ??? They automatically doubled the black population of Port A. It didn't seem prudent to have those two groups together, but they weren't for long. One young women thoughtfully got the four rig workers out of there after some intense negotiations which seemed to consiste of her licking one tight belly. I had to poke Paul in the ribs and tell him to stop staring, he said "But I can't stop looking!" Kind of like a car wreck.

Sometime during the butt bumping and belly licking this guy wearing horizontally tie dyed blue and white pants and a tunic top with gathered sleeves and a four foot hula hoop come running on the dance floor. His hair was blonde with deep dark roots. James immediately said California reject. Which seemed like a fair assessment. He has a whole routine worked out of jumping, hooping and gyrating to the music. Hardly room for him to perform with all the dancers but soon he had joined the girls on the stage. The bride tried to hula hoop but it was too difficult in her long white dress.

Oh yes, before I forget the bride requested her favorite song from the DJ, I think it was "Get Your Back Up." It is never attractive to see a young women gyrating in a squat in her wedding dress and flip flops. She was pretty and her dress was nice. Must have been a beach wedding. So during this delightful display a guy who may or may not have been with the wedding came over and said to Paul "Aren't you proud of your granddaughter now?" When the hula hoop guy came out Paul went and said to him "Does your grandpa make you proud?" OK, you had to be there. Trust me, it was all a hoot.

The bride and her three butt dancing girl friends just danced with each other. Oh, occasionally someone would drag the groom out on the floor for a few minutes, but it was just a token. They seemed to be very good friends. I wish I had pictures, it is so hard to describe properly.

Eventually we tore ourselves away from this cultural train wreck and went looking for food. Whataburger was closed! No food in town. Fortunately there was a new place out near the park that serves until late. The food was good and cheap. And they had an extended menu with real food on it. It also has minature golf. Forget the name. Great hamburgers and shrimp and onion rings.

I am posting this without Paul's imput, as he is still abed. It was 1 am before we got home. Stay tuned for updates.


Andrea said...

More posts like this and we are going to put you in a home next season.

Marjie said...

You are just jealous. Keep in mind that we were a boring married couple when your dad was in college and we missed all the crazy stuff. It is fun to watch. I have to practice dancing for next time ...

Andrea said...



Stephanie said...

I'm actually laughing out loud.
I have seen similar spectacles, but it is funny to hear your perspective on it. Train wreck for sure.

VAMOM said...

Oh my gosh..Margie..I have not been on your blog in some time..what a riot!! You are too funny and I think you should put this all together in a book. You really have a talent!
I also have not been in a bar after 9PM in the last 30 years so your description is priceless and had me laughing out loud!
Can't wait for you and Paul to work your way through VA..we have a new brewery open with live Bluegrass music. You will love it.

Marjie said...

We will be back in VA, it is a beautiful state.

Nothing so entertaining as living in a little red neck town.